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So So So..   
04:56pm 19/11/2005
mood: anxious
Tonight I have another fashion show at 1223 club at DC. Not quite sure who I am going to make come with me, but NOT going alone!

It's hosted by Playboy playmate Hiromi Oshima? Never heard of her but she has a great body but I am not a fan of her face. But you don't see too many asians in playboy.

Also hosted by a major playboy photographer which I hope to meet! Either way I strut my stuff on the stage then I hope to meet the photographer then go home cause everytime I stay and party I don't get home until like 5am cause DC clubs last call is like 3:30 or sometimes 4:00.

Yanno what show I like, project runway. They had marathon on and I watched it alllll day and cuddled with Lady.

Oh well guess I should go pick out my three lingerie outfits for tonight!

There the ad!

Love you all
Comments: Smack Muh Ass.
well well well   
10:30pm 06/11/2005
mood: cheerful
hello journal

I never write anymore. Well just moved into the new townhouse! Hopefully we left all the bad luck and bad situations with that stupid old house. I really won't miss that house at all.

We didn't move far still in abingdon just on the other side of 24 by walmart and all that. We got comcast and cable modems so it's awesome because before all we had was stupid aol.

Lauren is staying with me and mel for a little bit until she can find a house but she was supposed to stay with my mom.

I had a fashion show ay club h20 in DC friday night. Scott his brother and girlfriend and friend and girlfriend came oh and mel but she rode with me. Too bad Scott and them got lost and missed it :( but that club was insane. I mean DC clubs blow away baltimore city clubs. There was a fe redskin players there and invited me to the party and I said well im from baltimore (meaning its too far away to come party) and he was like "Oh shit you're a ravens fan then huh" but that was pretty cool. The show went good I was nervous thinking I would fall or something but I sure didn't and Cameron and Liz (people who work for dcpromodeling) said I did perfect! Got paid 120 dollars for it too! Then I salsa danced the night away with Scott!

Scott is my boyfriend we've been talking for like 4 months then got together sept 27th. Just too clear up confusion..

Well I think I am out of interesting things to write. So maybe I'll update more.

Bye bye
Comments: 1 Smack - Smack Muh Ass.
Heyp- als   
09:31pm 14/08/2005
mood: weird
Hey everyone,
Decided to update this thing because I never do!

Well let's see.. Today went to Andrew's 21st birthday party and saw some people I haven't see in probably a year or so. That was pretty cool.. I miss all them and the sad thing is I have been living 5 mins from Amanda for 5 months now.

We are moving soon.. which is for the better but it sucks because we didn't want too.. but the last incident was the last straw for our landlord so he said "get outtttt" so we gotta find a new place to live within a month or maybe less. Don't think Lauren is gonna be moving with us because her and Melanie just don't get along and they are complete opposites and I have had to break up many physical fights between them. But seriously this house and the people we met when we moved here has caused nothing but horrible things and stress and crap to our lives. I am just so glad those people aren't in my life anymore. No more cops, no more stolen things, no more fights, no more threats and having a fist 2 inches from my face, and just no more fucking drug addicts and bullshit I NEVER needed in my life.

Heard Rachel is leaving in 5 days which sucks cause I don't hang out with her as much but I def want to before she leaves. So don't forget to call me Rachel.. I think someone should have a party for her! I would but I always get the sense no one ever wants to come to my house for some reason.. No one lives her but me and my sisters and Bailey, Lacey, And Tristan now.. Sooo before we move out, why not?

I do have one good guy in my life so far named Scott who I do think likes me and isn't just lying or using me. He really is funny and makes me laugh and treats me pretty well and I have alot of fun hanging out with him. We have hung out pretty much every single night for 2 months now it seems. Not offically my boyfriend but I guess as close as you get to it.

I am getting Lauren to get me a snowball because I love snowballs and I hate asking for them because I am weird.

I have realized how bad of an anxiety problem I just might have.. it's like I am scared to do so many things because I might look stupid. Which is ridiculous and I wish I could stop it, not to mention how self concious I fucking am it pisses ME off sometimes. Everyone says just do it like it's so easy to get over my problems and say "sure buddy" and go do it. I hate going places alone, I don't like to walk into someone elses house with out them being right there to open the door, I hate being in a room full of people I don't know (not counting clubs or bars), I panic insanely if I get lost or stuck in a weird traffic situation, and there is so many more things I can't even name them all. I really don't think I was this bad before but I guess since people keep doing things for me it makes it just get worse with age.. What the fuck am I supposed to do about it? who knows.. I really wanna just suck it up and go do whatever the fuck I want and say whatever the fuck I want without some fear of everyone laughing at me like I always have. It's stupid and I know, no one has to tell me that part, I just wish someone could tell me how to get over most of it. I feel I miss out on so many opportunities because of this shit.

Oh well I get along fine though.. and I have realized this journal is really long and no one will probably read it. But hey is that why I write journals? No..

Ok well im here if anyone ever wants to call me and chill or see what's up probably will be a while before I post again.

Comments: 1 Smack - Smack Muh Ass.
10:09pm 26/07/2005
  Hello everyone,

Yes I am still alive.
Comments: 4 Smacks - Smack Muh Ass.
09:31pm 09/05/2005
  I am so fucking angry I am going to do 45743789 work out videos now.  
Comments: 8 Smacks - Smack Muh Ass.
07:07pm 22/04/2005
  Im jumping on a mother fucking moonbounce all night tonight, and tomorrow!


I'll probably get drunk and do it too!
Comments: 4 Smacks - Smack Muh Ass.
10:34pm 20/04/2005
  just wanted you all to share in my huge tacky paris hilton sunglasses that I love. And I also love for you to hate them!

Image hosted by TinyPic.com
Comments: Smack Muh Ass.
09:21pm 20/04/2005
mood: lonely
(x) been in love ( ) been dumped (x) shoplifted (x) snuck into a movie ( ) been fired ( ) been in a fist fight (x) snuck out of my parent's house (x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back ( ) been arrested (x) got a free ride from a cop ( ) made out with a stranger(s) ( ) gone on a blind date (x) lied to a friend- to help them (x) had a crush on a teacher ( ) been to Europe (x) skipped school ( ) seen someone die ( ) had a crush on one of your myspace friend ( ) been to Canada (x) been to Mexico (x) been on a plane (x) seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show ( ) thrown up in a bar ( ) purposely set a part of myself on fire (x) smoked a cigarette (x) smoked a cigar (x) smoked a joint ( ) crashed a friend's car ( ) stolen a car ( ) eaten sushi ( ) been snowboarding (x) met someone in person from the internet ( ) been moshing at a concert ( ) been in an abusive relationship ( ) taken painkillers (x) love someone or miss someone right now (just miss really) (x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by (x) made a snow angel (x) had a tea party (x) flown a kite (x) built a sand castle (x) gone puddle jumping (x) played dress up (x) jumped into a pile of leaves (x) gone sledding (x) cheated while playing a game (x) been lonely (x) fallen asleep at work/SCHOOL ( ) used a fake id (x) watched the sun set ( ) felt an earthquake (x) touched a snake (x) slept beneath the stars (x) been tickled ( ) been robbed (x) been misunderstood (x) petted a reindeer/goat (x) won a contest (x) run a red light ( ) been suspended from school (x) been in a car accident (x) had braces (x) felt like an outcast (x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night ( ) had deja vu ( ) had deja vu (x) danced in the moonlight (x) hated the way you look (x) witnessed a crime (x) pole danced (on my own poles) (x) been obsessed with post-it notes (x) squished barefoot through the mud (x) been lost ( ) been to the opposite side of the country (x) swam in the ocean (x) felt like dying (x) thought you were dead (x) cried yourself to sleep (x) played cops and robbers (x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers (x) sung karaoke (x) paid for a meal with only coins (x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't (x) made prank phone calls when you were younger (and like yesterday) ( ) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose (x) caught a snowflake on your tongue (x) danced in the rain (x) written a letter to Santa Claus (x) been kissed under the mistletoe (x) watched the sun rise/set with someone you care about (x) blown bubbles ( ) made a bonfire on the beach (x) crashed a party (x) gone rollerskating (x) had a wish come true (x) worn pearls (x) jumped off a bridge (x) ate dog/cat food ( ) told a complete stranger you loved them ( ) kissed a mirror (x) sang in the shower (everyday) (x) have a little black dress (x) had a dream that you married someone (x) glued your hand to something ( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole ( ) kissed a fish (x) worn the opposite sex's clothes ( ) been a cheerleader (x) sat on a roof top (x) screamed at the top of your lungs (x) done a one-handed cartwheel (x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours (x) stayed up all night ( ) didn't take a shower for a week (x) picked and ate an apple right off the tree (x) climbed a tree ( ) had a tree house ( ) are scared to watch scary movies (x) believe in ghosts (x) have more than 30 pairs of shoes ( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say ( ) gone streaking (x) played chicken (x) pushed into a pool/lake with all your clothes on (x) been told you're beautiful by a complete stranger ( ) broken a bone (well my nose but that isn't really a bone) (x) been easily amused ( ) caught a fish then ate it (x) caught a butterfly (x) laughed so hard you cried (x) cried so hard you laughed (x) mooned someone (x) had someone moon/flash you (x) cheated on a test ( ) have a Britney Spears CD (x) forgotten someone's name (x) slept naked ( ) French braided someone's hair ( ) grown a beard (x) rule at life yeah I was bored.............
Comments: Smack Muh Ass.
08:23pm 18/04/2005
  ew some people just don't have any morals anymore.

and bailey just farted really loud.
Comments: 7 Smacks - Smack Muh Ass.
05:58pm 08/04/2005
  Im tired of fucking coughing jesus h i j k l m n o p Christ  
Comments: 1 Smack - Smack Muh Ass.
12:10pm 02/04/2005
mood: Snotty throated
Man never a quiet night in the fucking real world house I call home.

But it's fun, guess it beats sitting around alone.

Well not sure what the fuck im doing tonight, Mark and Lenny want me and Lauren to go to a kegger buttttt I don't think I will.

Might just chill out here again but im sure some people will end up showing up and it will be a messy party again.

Im bored and Jeff is sleeping downstairs and don't get me started on that subject.

Oh well my mommy is on her way here so I guess I'll go clean up.

Hey anyone who reads this give me a call sometime!

I mean there is always a party here with these punks but never my friends, you could all come up sometime and party it would be fun.

We can braid hair and watch spongebob with japanese subtitles. Good times right?

Alright bye
Comments: 2 Smacks - Smack Muh Ass.
03:30pm 09/03/2005
  Men are assholes and liars so I no longer like them.

Guess I'll become a lesbian.
Comments: 9 Smacks - Smack Muh Ass.
09:45am 11/02/2005
  Wish I could just be a cold person with no feelings sometimes.  
Comments: 2 Smacks - Smack Muh Ass.
04:21pm 24/01/2005
Comments: 1 Smack - Smack Muh Ass.
02:30pm 02/01/2005
mood: crappy
Fuck my mom is annoying. God damn it. She cares way to fucking much what people think and it pisses me off. She is strange.

That is fucking all.

Happy Belated New Year Bitches.
Comments: 3 Smacks - Smack Muh Ass.
12:39pm 25/12/2004
  Merry Christmas Bitches!  
Comments: Smack Muh Ass.
10:22pm 20/12/2004
mood: cold
It's fucking cold.

I mean whoa..

It was like 10 degrees yesterday and with the wind chill it felt like 0. That's insane.

So, I finally started Christmas shopping today and got a few things for Lacey and my mom and one thing for Melanie and Lauren Each. Then I got a shit load of candy and cookies for the work party tomorrow and a 20 dollar gift certficate to Target. Hopefully I won't pick something strange for the present thingie like a George Forman grill or something.. Well actually it might not hurt if me and Emily ever do move out.

I need to go work out to get some of my built up anger out. People piss me the FUCK off.

Don't under estimate me please. But I will be the bigger person and save you the broken face.

I wanna make a punching bag. Anyone know anything to make one out of that is easy to find around the house?

Saw the movie "Saw" with Broch yesterday. It was awesome! I liked it and thought it was an awesome story line and everything about it was good.

Ok im done cause im out of cool things to say and I am gonna work out.

LOVE YOU ALL (except the dumb people)


Oh and I would like to say that one day I will have sex with Johnny Knoxville.
Comments: 3 Smacks - Smack Muh Ass.
01:52am 10/12/2004
mood: weird

I am in a weird fucking mood. I took a 5 hour nap and now I am wired, even though that shouldn't even be close to making up for the lack of sleep this week.

Wait let me do the math to how much sleep I have gotton overall this week...Hmm not counting tonight because I might not get any.. so far I have had about 10-12 hours for 4 days.. MAN I AM AWESOMELY HEALTHY.

Maybe that's why I am so weird these last few days. Weird strange witty responses fly out of my mouth like superman on crack.

I've also been insanely spiteful and say some pretty shitty things and laugh hysterically to myself, I CRACK MY SELF THE FUCK UP THESE DAYS. Good ol me, Im my bestest comical friend.

Oh and men I am sorry that I lived a life with out a good father that I no longer am able to feel pity for you, I am an asshole who lacks all sympathy for MEN.. I can't help it and it makes me laugh when they are sick and bitch and cry.. so I say things like "greasy chicken" when they have been throwing up from it. hahahahahahahaah I am awesome. Sometimes I say "Fuck guys" cause they all eat balls and have herpes.

I just got a random im from a guy that said "man I need some sex :(" and "I said who the fuck are you?" and he said "oh hey baby I saw you on the dilly" yeah good way to introduce yourself ASS HOLE..

I don't fuck random guys bitch ass nappy face tampon.

Ok seriously I have to go before you all think I am going crazy.

Maybe it's the non sleep.


Ok and I am coming back to edit this post just to say.. ALL EX'S ARE FUCKING ASSHOLES, DON'T BE FRIENDS WITH THEM.. EAT A COCK.
Comments: 5 Smacks - Smack Muh Ass.
12:44pm 05/12/2004
  I am pretty cool.  
Comments: 2 Smacks - Smack Muh Ass.
11:07pm 24/11/2004
  Im lonely, coulda used some company tonight.  
Comments: 3 Smacks - Smack Muh Ass.